Out of all 12 days at CLTC, the thing that taught me the most wasn’t the learning sessions, leading a program, or even my mock chapter. It was losing my chapter elections.

Before I got to CLTC, I had already decided I was going to be on board. I thought that was the only way I could really learn and get the most out of CLTC. So when we found out the elections were the next day, I declared for Sganit without hesitation. I had never lost an election before, and as a chapter N’siah, I thought there was no way I could lose. I stayed up until 2 a.m. drawing my platform, writing my speech, and practicing it over and over.

The next morning, I walked into my chapter room completely sure I was going to win. I gave my speech, explained my platform, and when we asked if there was a Sganit in the house, our N’siah responded with someone else’s name. I was upset, but quickly moved on to my dropdown, still convinced that I was going to win. I planned exactly what I was going to say in my minute, but again, when our N’siah announced who won, it wasn’t my name.

I was crushed and didn’t know what to do with myself. I blamed myself and was so upset that I didn’t want to go back to my chapter, be on a committee for someone I had just lost to, or see the people who I thought didn’t see me.

Eventually, I decided to join the Havdallah planning committee, and slowly, I realized that it was okay. I could still lead without having a title. I could still make an impact without being on board. Most importantly, I realized that one election didn’t define me as a leader or as a person.

Losing that election taught me more than winning a position ever could have. It taught me that leadership isn’t about having a title or being the person standing at the front of the room. Sometimes, leadership is choosing to keep showing up when things don’t go the way you wanted them to.